2/24/2023 0 Comments Bring me that ass creepr![]() We can deal with it in the morning, Kahlan said. In another few minutes, he counted four of the thirty signals they'd originally tracked, and those were running back to the building.Ĭome to me, now, Oba and the voice commanded with deadly authority. The unknown blips on the screen of Noonan's computer started disappearing as their hearts stopped and with them the electronic signals they generated. It was like keeping score for Clark, like some sort of horrid gladiatorial game. It was as if she read his mind.Do not think of resisting, Mr. I went up the staircase, letting my body find its human weight and human tread. Also? Infant shade is a thing.The Rowan nodded understandingly, for the kinetic effort had drained energy from everyone in that makeshift team. Regardless of how the Easter Bunny became parents’ worst nightmares, I think we can all agree to let the kids speak for themselves. Now I have to convince my kids that a rabbit, a woman who collects teeth, and a jolly AF leprechaun invade their house on a yearly basis? WTF, parents?Īccording to Mental Floss, “A wise man once told me that all religions are beautiful and all religions are wacko, but even if you allow for miracles, angels, and pancake Jesus, the Easter Bunny really comes out of left field.” A quick Google search for “Where the fuck did the Easter Bunny come from?” tells me that the Easter Bunny came to the U.S around 1700 A.D. ![]() I mean, it’s bad enough that I have to perpetuate the myth that a fat man in a red suit crams his jolly red ass down my chimney. Because how else was I going to feed my Reese’s PB habit? Don’t judge me, okay?Īnd I’d hear stories of how my friends would tell their kids that the bunnies in the yard were the Easter Bunny’s spies and wonder how the fuck we’d gotten here. “Hey, kids! Be good or a giant rodent armed with black licorice jelly beans and ungodly amounts of plastic grass isn’t gonna hop on into our house and leave you a big basket!” seemed ridiculous. ![]() When I had kids, I struggled to incorporate the idea of the Easter Bunny into our holiday because, frankly, I was still freaked out by the whole concept. Kids really are that gullible.Īs far back as the 80s, the Easter Bunny has been creepy AF, as this photo clearly proves: Come to think of it, I never did figure out how that fucker didn’t knock over furniture or leave giant rabbit droppings all over the house. I’d lay in my bed and panic because the thought of a giant, life-sized rabbit hopping through my house made me want to hide in the closet. I can remember, as a kid, being terrified in my bed on the night before the Rodent of Unusual Size was to bring me a basket filled with goodies and chocolate. The Easter Bunny makes no sense and, frankly, I think he’s a creeper. I mean, for Christians, Easter represents the day that Jesus rose from the dead and I can’t remember a single Bible story that had Mary hiding dyed eggs around Jesus’ tomb. Even from a young age, I couldn’t understand where the fuck the giant rodent fell in the scheme of the Easter myth. While I love the feeling of renewal that comes with springtime and the joy that surrounds the Easter holiday, I have always been completely freaked out by the Easter Bunny. That’s right, Easter is coming and I can practically smell the fresh air and pretty blooms that will wash away the winter doldrums. Spring is right around the corner and that means Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg season is upon us.
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